How You Work With Us
Here we’ll explain in some detail how you work with us in our family mediation process. Later, we’ll tell you our fees for mediation, divorce financial planning and legal services.
We Start with a Phone Call
You can email us, call us, or even make an online appointment, but before we do anything we like to speak with each of you first. During this call we describe the mediation process, especially as it pertains to your particular family circumstances, and answer questions you may have in deciding whether mediation and working with us is a good choice and fit for you.
This call is important. It helps to emphasize that we are neutral and here to assist both of you, regardless of who first contacted us, and to learn of special issues that may influence the way we work with you. We ask you to call us together or separately.
Before We Meet
After we have spoken with you both and scheduled your first session, we will forward a letter or E-mail confirming the time and place of our first appointment. We will provide you with a topical outline that will govern our discussions. We will also include information gathering forms that we ask you to fill out and bring with you to the first session.
The goal of mediation is to foster open, meaningful dialogue between the two of you in a neutral setting, so we expect both of you to attend the first session and we’ll get right to work. Sometimes, if one or both of you prefer, we will take part of the first session to meet with you individually. You may find this helpful if there is great anger, rancor or safety concerns, or if there are concerns you wish to discuss privately.
The First Session
Our first mediation session may take longer than 45 minutes but you will only be charged the session fee. We will discuss the mediation process briefly, learn the “big picture” of your divorce dispute, review the paperwork so we know each has the same material, and agree on a time table to work through the crucial issues. Then we begin the real work of discussing options and developing an agreement on all necessary matters.
Session Length and Appointment Times
A Mediation session lasts 45 minutes. We can schedule longer sessions if you wish. Families in Transition is happy to provide evening and weekend times to better serve your schedule. If you want, we can schedule a “day of mediation”, typically 5 hours, at a reduced rate.
Why 45 minutes, you ask? We actually use a whole hour, saving 15 minutes to make notes for your file, which we review ahead of the next session. We take the time to make your file complete, but we don’t charge you for that.
How many sessions you need will be up to you, your spouse, and the complexities of your marriage. Experience suggests 6-10 mediation and planning sessions should be sufficient.
Generally, those attending a session are you, your spouse, and your mediator. If you have a lawyer, tax professional or planner, they can come, so long as they understand that we are there to discuss agenda items in a neutral and collaborative way.
The "Memorandum of Understanding" (MOU): Mediation’s Product
With each session you should come to agreement on one or more topics. We keep track of those agreements. As part of our service, we will draft a “Memorandum of Understanding” that sets forth the agreements you have made to each other. This is not a legal document, but it can become the foundation for a separation or opt-out agreement.
You will each have a chance to review the document with us, make changes, and have it reviewed by a lawyer or other professional.
Mediation is a voluntary process, so Families in Transition does not recommend you sign the MOU at our office. We believe you should have the opportunity to review it carefully with whatever advisors you wish away from any pressures of meeting together.
In many circumstances, we can help you with the Separation Agreement and an uncontested divorce. These are legal services that Anthony J. Pietrafesa, Esq. would provide under a separate legal retainer. Naturally, you are free to hire a lawyer you feel most comfortable with.